


how sweet and unexplainable

by exexlovers



Series: favourites of my own work! [4]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Confessions, Fear, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marvin Not Being an Asshole (Falsettos), Mornings, Past Abuse, act 2!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exexlovers/pseuds/exexlovers
Summary: 'because if everything was so good, what wasn’t to say that it could go sour? just one too-tight grip on his wrist, or just one offhand comment, and it was all gone. like a house. good things take ages to build and less than a second to destroy.'⤷ marvin is different. sometimes it scares whizzer.
Relationships: Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: favourites of my own work! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058351
Comments: 17
Kudos: 123





	how sweet and unexplainable

_Courage,_ he told himself. _Even when panic is at the back of your throat. Courage._

It was morning and the sun was shining. The bedroom was bright, the floors were tidy, and Marvin was different.

He was different. Whizzer had suspected that the moment Marvin accepted his presence at the baseball game. He had realized that when Marvin brought chocolate cream pie - of all things - on their first date. There was no doubt in his mind that Marvin had made a complete one-eighty.

Sunlight shone through the window and onto the white blanket. The refraction made it look like Queen Clarion of Disney’s Fairies dress. Marvin looked pretty. He _was_ pretty.

Truly, everything was grand. And _that_ was what scared Whizzer.

Because if everything was so good, what wasn’t to say that it could go sour? Just one too-tight grip on his wrist, or just one offhand comment, and it was all gone.

Like a house. Good things take ages to build and less than a second to destroy.

Whizzer laid in bed on his side and studied his boyfriend - a word they had only recently agreed on.

Marvin looked gentle. Youthful. His eyelashes were thick against his cheeks. His hair was shiny and smooth against his forehead. And he wasn’t even wearing those plaid pants Whizzer hated.

Despite that, Whizzer’s heart pounded like a hummingbird’s wings. Marvin could wake up, blink, and scowl, and Whizzer would know this was all down the drain.

He could do nothing more than breathe and Marvin could kick him out of the door.

_Courage,_ Whizzer reminded himself, and rolled into his back.

* * *

He didn’t have the intention to go back to sleep. He wanted to watch Marvin open his eyes and see whether his greeting smile was soft or forced.

And now he didn’t know. The space next to him was deserted. Whether Marvin wanted him here or not was a mystery to him.

The smell of caffeine made its way down the hall. Whizzer took that as a good sign, and threw the blankets off his legs. He padded barefoot into the kitchen and found Marvin with a mug in one hand and a book in the other. He abandoned both the second he noticed Whizzer, and trailed over to where he stood. 

“Good morning.” Marvin slid his hands onto the small of Whizzer’s back. Warmth followed his fingertips.

Whizzer missed a beat, gathering Marvin’s expression. “You look at me like a blind man who’s seeing for the first time.”

Marvin smiled a little. “Yeah, that’s kinda how it feels. Get used to it.”

He exhaled in a puff of air, then leaned in for a kiss. Marvin seemed more than happy to oblige.

“Coffee?” he offered when Whizzer pulled away.

“Please.” Whizzer nodded. Marvin let go.

Making his way to the stools by the kitchen counter, Whizzer took in the room. The curtains overlooking the balcony were open, and the sun was so bright he could see each grey thread woven to make the fabric. Their record player sat on the shelf, a vinyl awaiting the hovering needle. Whizzer wondered if Marvin had started to play music, but stopped in fear of making too much noise.

Porcelain clinked against granite, and Whizzer was met with an orange mug and creamy coffee.

Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that after two years, Marvin remembered that the orange mug was his favourite. That coffee always tastes better in that one.

“Whizzer?”

He blinked and met Marvin’s gaze. “Uh-huh?”

“What are you thinking about? It feels like you’re here in body but not in mind or spirit.”

Whizzer bit the inside of his cheek. _Here we go._ “I-I’m just… I’m still not used to it.”

Marvin wrapped his hands around his mug, his forearms resting on the counter. “Okay. ‘ _It_ ,’ being…?”

“All of this. The… the coffee made without hostility. The soft glances. The patience. Safety. Free will. You- Marvin, you look at me with so much love in your eyes. I can’t handle it. I’m… I’m getting to know a whole new person.”

Marvin just waited. He looked Whizzer in the eye and waited. 

“And that!” Whizzer’s voice trembled. “You’re actually listening to me. You care about my feelings and that is _so_ foreign. And I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to lose this. Maybe I’ll- I’ll forget to wipe down the counters, or I’ll take a joke too far, and you’ll look at me in the way I’m used to and grab me by the wrist and shove me out the door with nothing but the clothes on my back. One wrong move and it’s like a wrecking ball to our relationship. And- and I don’t even know if you want me, Marvin. I don’t know what you want until you say it.”

Marvin drew in a breath, then exhaled slowly - painfully slowly. He ran a hand through his hair and stood up straight. “Whizzer. I’m sorry I never made it clear that I wanted you. I’m still learning how to express my emotions, and I’m still learning how to apologize, so please bear with me.”

Whizzer swallowed. Tears stung his eyes, and he cursed inwardly at them. 

“I want you.” Marvin confirmed. “The only thing I want in this world is you.”

“You swear to me?”

“I swear to you as the Pope swears on the Bible.”

Whizzer nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

“And- hey, look at me. I’m not about to kick you out. I would have moved mountains had it meant seeing you again sooner. My purpose in life is to learn from you. My soul is here to learn from you. God only knows what it is that I’m learning, but I know I need you. And so if that comes with a spill on the stove, or, god forbid, a good morning kiss, so be it. I’m at peace with you. Okay?”

Whizzer inhaled shakily. He focused on the tingly warmth of his coffee mug. “Yeah. Okay.”

Marvin walked around the counter, wiped his thumb under Whizzer’s eyes, and kissed his cheek. “I swear to you as the Pope swears on the Bible.” he repeated.

“You want me.”

“I want you. I really do.”

Whizzer pulled Marvin closer by his waist. His throat felt tight. “Everything?”

“Yes.”

“Even the… the sass and blanket-hogging and the messy bathroom counters?”

“Whizzer, that’s everything I’ve been missing for two years. It’s exactly what I want.”

At that, his carefully crafted dam cracked, then broke. Marvin pulled him into a hug, and he sobbed. He sobbed over broken promises and should-have-beens. He sobbed over healing and growth and forgiveness. He sobbed until his face was dry and Marvin’s pajama shirt was damp.

Marvin stood there, and held him, and rubbed his back. He held Whizzer as shaky breaths turned stable and as fear changed into resonance.

His head on Marvin’s shoulder and his body warm, Whizzer spoke. “I don’t think I have ever cried like that in my life.”

Marvin stayed in position for a moment longer, then pulled back. “Let me get you some water.”

“Okay.”

He pulled a cup out of the cupboard and filled it at the sink. Whizzer noted how calmly he moved, and accepted the blue plastic when it was handed to him.

Marvin leaned his elbows on the counter and intertwined his fingers. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you.”

Whizzer nodded again. “I forgive you.”

He smiled. “I’m really glad you do.”

“Me too.”

Time passed. Whizzer drank his water and Marvin returned to his book. Birds chirped outside. A squirrel scampered across the balcony railing. Autumn leaves twirled down from the sky.

Whizzer reached for Marvin, who returned to his side.

“You’re a good boyfriend.” Whizzer brushed his fingers through Marvin’s dark amber hair.

Marvin sighed in pleasure. “I do try.”

His coffee had lost its heat, and the sun wasn’t so bright, but honest to God, he might be in love. He was safe and home and falling in love.

It was new and familiar at the same time.


End file.
